As a parent you have moments where you think "I can't do this one more day!" You have days where you feel completely and totally inadequate to those fellow parents around you and doubt you are doing anything right by your kid(s). For me I feel like this is more for moms than dads for two reasons. One, women naturally put more pressure on themselves in all things, we constantly compare ourselves to those around us. Plus, there is that good old mother's guilt. Two, we carried, physically carried our children inside of our bodies for 9+ months. We were literally the force field that protected them day in and day out until it came time for them to bust out of the womb. And then...then we were hopeless to stop whatever may happen to them. Men, while they love their children more than words could ever say I don't think, now mind you this is just my opinion, that they feel the same amount of pressure we women do to get this parenting thing "right". Whatever that may mean in our individual home.
With this third pregnancy flying by week after week I find myself getting more and more stressed out on a variety of motherhood tasks. One, how am I going to have enough time in the day for all three of my kids and their very different needs? What will happen while I am in the hospital having my third baby and my first two are at home? Are just a couple of the long list on repeat in my head.
Add to that Z-man's oh so fabulous 4 year old tantrums and Sweet Peas constant need to know that I am on her level, literally sitting on the ground, while she plays independently and freaking out if she can't see me or be near me or feel me when she needs that reassurance that yes I am in fact sill here. And then, well then I talk to my sister, who is dealing with her own day to day struggles and she says, "This is my right now, not my forever." And then it clicks. This is a season of life, a season in which I will all to soon look back on and miss those moments when my children needed me the way they do now. A time when they form more of their own independence and get closer and closer to no longer fitting in my arms for me to rock them.
For example, just yesterday while loading the car after shopping with two kids solo I found my self thinking, "Crap! How am I going to take three kids to the grocery store, load them in and out of the car multiple times, get everything we need, load and unload our food, without it taking all day!?" Just as I finished that thought Z-man exclaimed from his car seat "Momma I did it! I buckled my own seat belt all by myself for the first time!" Now to you this is probably going to seem like such a tiny insignificant detail in everyday life, especially if you have yet to have kids, let along a four year old, of your own. But this, for me, was HUGE! While yes it is just one more thing to add to the growing list of ways he doesn't need my help anymore it will also be a ginormous help once Bambino is here. Then instead of having to buckle three kids into the car I will have to do only two and just quickly double check the third. Which seriously will save time!
Add to that my Sweet Pea who is just a week shy of 1 years old. Like seriously how did that happen so quickly!? She has decided that she doesn't need us to carry her up the stairs anymore, she can crawl/climb them totally solo. We obviously walk right behind her to make sure we are there to catch her if she slips. But again something that seems like not such a big deal to some is huge to the pregnant lady who goes up and down the stairs a minimum of 10-15 times a DAY! No wonder I haven't gained any weight this pregnancy with that workout program! Not only that but Sweet Pea has taken her first steps. She is regularly taking 2-4 steps at a time before falling and trying again. I am just a few incredibly fast passing short weeks away from having a full on walker. This will provide new challenges I know but at the same time it will also provide some freedom in my day allowing me to focus on other things, like getting ready for our Bambino and all of his needs once he comes in April.
So, I guess the point of this post is to simply say, when the day feel insurmountable and you think that your plate cannot fit one more crumb on it remember my sisters words... This is my right now...not my forever. Then take a step back, a deep breath, and look around you and see those tiny hardly noticeable changes that occur little but little each day until it is such a big change and you can't remember what was so hard the day before. And know this, we all have our own to see and we can make it through together.
Until next time my friends!
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